我花了三个月的时间在日本北部的禅宗佛教寺庙工作时研究社区动态。在那段时间，我遇到了NayamiSōdan由日本佛教祭司在整个农村面向社区的寺庙中实行。纳亚米方法grievance或者抱怨， 尽管sōdan方法咨询或者讨论, particularly a discussion with an eye toward receiving advice.
作为中立的社区人物，佛教祭司，尤其是那些在农村社区中管理机构的人物，都存在于地方社会的流动中，没有它。他们适应社区日常生活中的发展，但也通过他们的官方站与官方站相处。
这个独特的立场使佛教祭司成为社区不满时的理想人士（nayami）。例如：
田中山对她的邻居山田山有疑问，山田山没有保持自己的财产分开的树篱。Slovenly Hedge是对田中山的不断刺激的根源。但是，田中 - 桑（Tanaka-san）担心如果她对山田山（Yamada-san）说些什么，她会看起来很小。Yamada-San和她每天都在互相交谈，他们在同一商店购物，参加同一社区活动。进入它太尴尬了。树篱却很夸张。
田中山最终去了她当地的寺庙与住所里的牧师交谈。牧师耐心地倾听。田中山最终绕着物质的核心：山田山的树篱。她散发出挫败感，有时让自己的情绪得到最好的。牧师点点头和倾听，而不是无情。15分钟后，田中山耗尽了蒸汽。不过，她感觉更好。她完成了茶，将主题更改为即将举行的节日，然后才能原谅自己。田中山并不担心。她知道谈话永远不会离开房间。
This is the typical flow of aNayamiSōdan：休闲问候，一些亮度的茶点，闲聊，揭示的单方面挫败感，对方的理解，更多的小话题，最后是再见。
But what of the hedge?
At the festival, the priest finds the occasion to make small talk with Yamada-san. He says nothing about Tanaka-san, but does mention that the temple will be going around the community the next week to offer older adults help with yard keeping. The priest has heard that Yamada-san has a knack for landscaping. Maybe she’d like to join?
By that time next week, the hedge is looking fit. Tanaka-san is happy. Harmony is restored. All because of a gentle suggestion from the right person at the right time.
怎么能NayamiSōdanfacilitate employee experience management?
NayamiSōdanare successful because they are attuned to the realities of human relationships.
人类不一致。emotions fluctuate, opinions change, and tempers can flare for trivial reasons. Humans can also simultaneously maintain seemingly dissonant feelings about others, e.g., anger over someone’s disrespect, but care for their emotional well-being.
NayamiSōdancreates the space for people to express their inconsistent and dissonant experiences about human relationships. These sessions both capture and process experience in a depth that far exceeds a numerical value.
人们寻求和谐。Humans would prefer to get along. The health of the community is important, paramount even. Even so, close-knit relationships breed tensions.
NayamiSōdan提供了一种不太对抗性的手段来解决与亲密关系中出现的自然紧张局势产生的冲突。重要的是，他们这样做的情况没有宣传和对抗更具侵略性的干预措施，这些干预措施通常会导致尴尬，让步和怨恨。
社区解决方案解决了社区问题。如果社区是冲突的根源，那么社区也可以帮助改善这种冲突。
当然，社区成员知道牧师通常会根据收到的信息行事。但是他们也知道，由于牧师与更广泛的社区的关系，他们会发出光线，但巧妙的触感。
业务关系是亲密关系。像日本村庄一样，企业彼此合作形成了相互依存关系的复杂星座，这些关系具有深厚的个人和有意义。他们也受到高度收费。像村庄一样，这些关系的参与者会犹豫不决。
Businesseses could use aNayamiSōdan。
In defense of indirectness
我与许多不愿与人力资源代表或领导人谈论他们的经历的员工谈论了跨越生产，创意和学术行业的人类学家，因为他们担心坦率的对话会导致对抗。
一家工作技术公司的内容作家Mira正在经历倦怠。她坦白说，她感到自己在公司中被低估了。当我建议她与团队中的某人交谈时，她断然拒绝了。“如果我告诉别人我的真实感受，我最终将不得不再进行三场对话，还有三场会议。我会在每个人的范围内。”必须忍受一系列随访的前景激发了她的焦虑。她不想 - 也不觉得自己可以应付 - 对抗。“这是不值得的，”米拉叹了口气，“不，谢谢。”
Dean, a canning line operator at a midsize brewery, didn’t see eye-to-eye with the production manager. He felt talked down to, disrespected in meetings, and as if his ideas for improving workflow weren’t taken seriously. Talking over a beer, he confessed that while he hated the dynamic, he had no plans to address it. “I just don’t want to get into it with him.” Dean wasn’t comfortable with conflict. “My dad and my friends say that I need to be direct with him, but I don’t want it to become a fight.” He worried about having to defend his feelings, whether he could make a strong enough case, whether he’d come out of the meeting looking like a fool or a crybaby. Faced with the potential of more friction, Dean resigned himself. “I’m just going to keep my head down. It’s not worth it.”
I’ve encountered this theme again and again. Negative employee experience, but the feeling that it “wasn’t worth it” to address the problem for fear of exacerbating an already fractious situation.
这不是弱点，也不是失败的。相反，这些员工即使以个人为代价也表达了保持和谐的愿望。组织吸引不同的人物。并非每个人都对冲突感到满意。直接干预不必是解决内部冲突的唯一方法。
具有更多被动或适应人物的人应该有一条途径来解决冲突，而这并不是以其个人福祉为代价。与其期望人们走出舒适区，不如容纳他们。在工作世界越来越专注于创建包容性空间的那一刻，领导者和人力资源专业人员有机会解决员工的经验和福祉。
Passive intervention
这NayamiSōdanworks off the premise that conflict management does not necessarily need to be direct in order to be effective. While a frank conversation between two parties can bring about a quick resolution, fear of confrontation and being “put on the spot” can also pressure more amicable individuals to downplay or deny their experience. Being too direct can achieve efficiency at the cost of silence.
A slower, lighter touch may be better. A strategically-positioned individual, moving with empathy, can passively create organizational change without bringing the conflict to a pitch.
Companies don’t need their own Buddhist priest. Here are some methods I’ve seen for effectively building an environment that accommodates indirect intervention.
Maintain office hours。为员工创造一个空间，可以介入和交谈。这种方法可以，而且我认为应该包括谈论负面经历的空间，还包括分享积极的经验。虽然通常更容易直接分享积极的情绪，但订婚仍然可以作为收集员工体验数据的宝贵场所。
Make use of remote meetings。如果您走进人力资源或经理办公室并关闭门，每个人都知道这意味着什么。通过在线开会来保护员工匿名。
练习主动聆听。有时，有人需要做的就是吹气。经常在NayamiSōdan，牧师会说相对较少，没有提供任何建议，并以点头或安静地回应村民的独白，“我看到。”这座寺庙是一个安全的发泄场所。正如牧师所说的那样，这里比酒吧喝醉要好。
授权员工代理。在聆听和处理员工的冲突之后，让他们计划下一步。问“您想如何处理？”之类的问题。并提醒他们，无论他们想采取什么路线，是一对一的会议或根本没有行动，都可以。
Cultivate an atmosphere of openness。这可以采取多种形式。对影响员工经验的问题进行定期回顾。邀请专门从事冲突管理的不同观点的演讲嘉宾。
改变从我做起
Passive forms of mediation can serve as a means to gauge experience, address conflict, and cultivate interpersonal harmony. However, these initiatives are ultimately dependent on dedicated, involved leaders who are ready to roll up their sleeves.
every organization is unique. Every employee is different. Every conflict is complex. Like the Buddhist priest, leaders must leverage their intimate knowledge of workplace dynamics to resolve conflicts in a way that promotes employee wellness.
培养整体员工健康可能是人才争夺的重要优势。在管理冲突中，缓慢而稳定的确可以赢得比赛。
亚伦·德尔加蒂（Aaron Delgaty）是一位文化人类学家和民族志学家，专门研究危机，工作和韧性。他还是Starr阴谋的市场研究专家，也是UNC Chapel Hill的人类学助教教授。